What's Working?

Funny that I drafted the title last night, even before I facilitated two "what's working" sessions today at work. I am not gonna lie. I wrote this blog Monday evening after returning home from work at 5pm and already feeling like the week kicked my ass... Why? Well I could identify several reasons. But why focus on that, I prefer to reflect on what is going well. Coming home after a long day to cook dinner with a soothing glass of Benessere Sangiovese, has finally put me in the space to even recognize what is working! Believe it or not, I did not make one home cooked meal last week. Sigh.. But I did cook for Staff Thanksgiving potluck though, if that counts for anything.

What I have recently been more aware of is that finding the time and space for our expression of our individual gifts is both therapeutic and balancing. One week away from the kitchen for cooking can be quite damaging for this girl!

There is a nut to crack: Why is it that when life gets busy and tough it is precisely those activities, the ones that balance us, which are the ones we are willing to sacrifice?

As if that helps us to be more grounded and productive? When actually, it is just the opposite, especially when this pattern exists for prolonged periods.

 So as I mentioned in my previous post, the work is driving me--like a dog! Thankfully I love so much of what I am doing and work with precious people who I treasure like family. That said, I still felt like yesterday should have been Friday. And while all I wanted to do when leaving work on Monday was to go home, snuggle up on the couch in my PJ's, cuddling with my two favorite dudes (the dogs-Odysseus & Phinneus)... I knew that was exactly what I should NOT do. I needed some ME time in the kitchen!

I decided on some comfort food. A dish inspired by one of my favorite restaurants: Mandolin. A spinach pappardelle, grass fed sautéed ground beef in Vidalia onions, Compari tomatoes, fresh garlic, parsley and thyme and baked in a béchamel sauce with fresh Parmesan on top. Rich? yes! Fattening? Yes! Comforting? Yes! Delicious!!! 

While the dish is all those things, I am still challenged by thinking about and cooking with meat... I hope all my vegetarian and vegan friends are suspending judgment, and trust that soon enough I will be experimenting with a vegetarian version! Not going to get into what is on my conscience... These days I need a little bit of comfort minus the self-judgment...
Though a statement I was told yesterday really sums up where I am at with the issue of cooking and eating meat... Consciousness is a Bitch! And that is a story for a whole other post.

So what is working?
1. Regular sessions in my kitchen to create and innovate.
2. Taking the time to cook for myself and loved ones even when I am stretched thin and tired.
3. Take time to reflect on what is working in my life, for there is so much that is even on a week that my Mac of almost 10 years has crashed... :( But what works there is the possibility of a new Mac companion!

Under or overachiever....The dish that raises the question?

So I have not been able to follow through with my goal of four posts a month :( 
But hoping I can do 50%, and succeed at two times a month. Let's be real... 
I was never a straight A student until college.

Interesting start to a food blog titled Colleen Cooks, huh? Well since I started 
the blog in early October, I have taken tons of pictures of great dishes and had 
creative ideas for many posts, even some drafts. But life takes us by the neck and 
drags us where we need to be. Or so I like to believe. So at least I showed up 
again. I am happy about that.
So why the title?  Well, my work life has really been in the driver's seat, and 
cooking has taken the back! Until today, when I realized our staff 
Thanksgiving pot luck is tomorrow! I had signed up for my usual sourdough, 
artichoke, mushroom, rosemary, parmesan stuffing. So delish!  But also so time 
consuming.  That comment gives me great concern for even thinking it...What has 
happened to me during the month of November that cooking is getting the back 
seat? Note: Something to explore and employ strategies to not have that happen 
again.

So I signed up for this dish, yes. But do people really expect that I have the 
time to actually make this from scratch? That is the question when we are in 
leadership roles and get too busy that we forget what is important to us as 
individuals, and ultimately lose touch with what makes us, us.....
So my colleague and dear friend, suggested I cut corners on the dish, at a 
minimum using stuffing croutons. And sadly I am ashamed to say that it actually 
crossed my mind. Yeah I was in a moment of stress so I felt prey to other 
demands that were nibbling away at me. But all too soon, I was at my desk 
responding to tense email exchanges, thinking WTH, why on earth would I want to 
combine delicious, healthy ingredients with packaged/processed foods? I am not 
Sandra Lee host of Semi-Homemade; not dissing her techniques, just not my style. 
So what did I do? Head straight to the grocery store after work, walk the dogs, 
and start on my favorite stuffing recipe. 

After all, the peeps you work with are 
family, given that you spend more time with them than your own blood usually, 
and so they deserve nothing other than the best. Of course, this is also about 
me. Is it me being an overachiever? Making up for lost years with perfected 
cooking? Or an effort to encourage others to not take the easy route and rather 
take the "you are what you eat" philosophy. And I think that the latter is what drives me 
tonight at 10pm cooking for my colleagues. Or at least I like to think so!
Special thanks to Foppiano Chardonnay who saw me through the task!